December 10, 2010

The Hypothesis

The Freeman-Hall Boot Hypothesis

Eat your heart out Barney Stinson.


WARNING: Let me just start this off with a warning. To all the single ladies, I mean straight ladies, either stop reading now, or know now that you could possibly be offended by the following post. But know this, no offense is meant by it at all. And if you do happen to keep reading and aren't offended, please give us some feedback here.



The Freeman-Hall Boot Hypothesis is a theory based around the heel size of a woman's boot and that relation to how much "she wants it" (to put it into my collaborator's terms).


Two factors:

  • H: the height of the boot
  • s: the height of the heel

In order to determine her Want Score you take the height of the heel, s, and the height of the boot, H plug them into the following equation: WS = 10*[(s x H)/h], where h is the upper bound value dependent upon the observer. Now, when this value is 0, you probably don't want to try because let's face it, she's not having it. On the other hand, the larger this value is, the higher the WS is which means you should go for it like Connect Four. Now, as in Top Gun there is a danger zone. If her WS value exceeds 10 (when s x H > h) then stay away, you don't want to deal with that because, as Hall and Oates would say, she's probably a Maneater.





You're probably wondering how to put this into action since you won't be carrying around a tape measure, nor could you stop the target and ask "Can I measure your boot?" Not going to happen. What you need to do is practice visualizing and recognizing different heights and distances. Also, exact calculations aren't necessarily needed, because as long as you can eyeball that the value is below 10, above 0, and within what you would consider a plausible range, work your magic.


Now, put into practice this can save you a lot of hassle when out at the bar, or the club, or on the subway. Keep the FHBH in mind and you'll be sure to make smarter decisions. Thoughts? Comments? Add them below. And as always, "Get excited!" as Sir Skizzle Fresh would tell you.


Thanks to Skizzle Fresh for the collaboration. Look forward to more in the future.


[END TRANSMISSION]

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