The 5 (Worst Zelda Temples/Dungeons)

Let's be real, lists are awesome. They get to the point, and if all you want to know is number one you can just skip right to it. All of the best magazines and television programs do it. Why shouldn't I? This is the first 5 that I'm doing, and since I'm on a retro gaming kick, I've picked to do the top 5 worst Zelda temples or dungeons or what-have-you. Be warned, if for some reason you've never played a Zelda game, I could very much be spoiling it for you. Also, if for some reason you've never played a Zelda game, we need to talk.


Honorable Mention: The Great Bay Temple (Majora's Mask) and The Lakebed Temple (Twilight Princess)

Yes, two water temples. I'm including the first one thanks to Dokami bringing it up. I never really was too annoyed with this one. Yes, it is a bit of a maze, and it can be confusing, but I enjoyed it. It's color coordinated, making the temple itself like it's own map. I also enjoyed how people would compare this one to Ocarina's Water Temple in difficulty. As for the Lakebed Temple, it's getting a mention because it follows the explicit theme of all water temples, manipulate the flow of water. Let's be honest, this game mechanic is annoying a lot of the time. If done right, it's a good tool, but there are times when it's just a chore to get to where you need to go to stop the water or raise the water or whatever you have to do, as we'll see a little later.

Honorable Mention: Inside the Deku Tree (Master Quest)

Surely, most of Master Quest deserves to be an honorable mention, but seeing as Inside the Deku Tree is the first dungeon, it really spells out just what's in store for anyone brave enough to play this game. Assuming you've played through Ocarina of Time, they throw you right into the mix with some upper level and larger baddies than you would have expected in the first dungeon in the game. How do they accomplish this? Fire keese + Kokiri shield = death. Yes, I've seen it happen. My friend played through and died in the first temple due to these little buggers. Ironically though, the Water Temple in MQ is actually easier since they remove all the keys. Music to your ears I'm sure.

5. The Forest Temple (Ocarina of Time)

Apparently, being an adult in Hyrule means creepy music, ghosts, twisted hallways, and the phrase "Where is that fucking key!" The first time through the Forest Temple for anyone is probably a somewhat annoying experience. I know dungeons aren't meant to be linear, but this was a freaking maze. It doesn't help that there are rooms that appear to be similar, reflections of that one you just came out of two rooms ago. Other rooms are rotated. And oh yeah, they introduce wall masters, one of the most frustrating enemies. Because of these bastards, I would find myself staring more at the shadow under Link's body than what was in front of me, making sure to roll out of the way before those mysterious hands would fall from the ceiling and take me back to the beginning of the level. In conclusion, maze + wall masters + creepy music = annoying.

4. The Wind and Earth Temples (Wind Waker)

I'm probably starting a trend here in stating that the worst of the Zelda temples are just the most annoying for one particular reason or another. The difficulty isn't that high, it's just you usually have to deal with something that is frustrating, and in Wind Waker, these two both have the same frustrating element (get it): the sage. Your goal in both of these temples is to get to the end in order to help you reawaken the power of the Master Sword, okay I get that, but why exactly do I have to drag this person around with me through the whole thing? It gets annoying fast when you have to carry someone from one end of the room to another when there are five guys chasing you, and then you have to stop and control the secondary character to go do something, but they can't fight so you end up having to kill everyone first, and-you get the picture. I guess it could be worse and your life could be directly tied to theirs, that would really suck.

3. The Forest Maze (Link to the Past)

Another forest, another maze. Now, I've subscribed to the theory that Ocarina of Time is in many ways a rehashing of Link to the Past. Not in a bad way at all, but there are a lot of similarities, just like there is between these two temples. Mostly, the annoying maze aspect, but also the wall masters. They are actually more annoying in this game because when you try to push something you usually stall and stand still for a moment, plenty of time for that hand to reach down and take you away. And in this forest, you get taken back to the beginning, which even with the map is difficult to tell where that is in comparison to where you were. Good luck! Bring lots of magic potions and fairies with you because the boss here is annoying as well. It's not so much that he's difficult, it's that the room is moving and there are spikes along the walls, so you get pushed this way and that by attacks and a randomly moving floor. Not my idea of fair.

2. The Water Temple (Ocarina of Time)

Oh ho! You thought this would be number 1 didn't you? Well sorry, not to me. People give the Water Temple a lot of flack for being difficult and tons of back tracking, missing keys (I've heard people claim that you can get stuck using the wrong key in the wrong door), but it's really not that bad. Okay, admittedly it's frustrating, really frustrating at times. "Wait, didn't I just lower the water to get that key? Now I have to raise it to get up to that room to get another key? What happened to the key I just had?" Much like the Forest Temple in the same game, this temple is a bit of a maze. I've played through it a few dozen times and I can say that I usually forget a key somewhere, but I realize it before I'm heading towards that final door to get the Boss Key. The thing that really gets me in this temple is Dark Link. Sure, if you're smart you can go and get the Biggoron's Sword before entering the temple and just poke him with that a few times (how exactly does Link handle that thing anyway? I feel like you should need the gauntlets to swing that it), but going through it without that, is a bit of an annoying chore that requires a few captured fairies.

1. The Sky Temple (Twilight Princess)

I'm sure you all expected some really difficult temple. One with a wicked hard boss or crazy puzzles to solve, but that is not why I consider the Sky Temple the worst. It is all because of one. Single. Switch. Yes, the one thing that brings this to number one is a single switch to open a door that I couldn't find for about 2 hours. Why couldn't I find it? Because I had to look down. Let me explain. The Sky Temple is in the sky (duh), so there are a lot of open areas that you can run off and fall into the abyss. In one particular room, after making it across some platforms you reach a door that doesn't require a key, but requires a switch to be hit somewhere in the room. I looked everywhere, doing my best to not fall into the large hole in the middle of the room where a few broken columns protruded. Hours pass, I go to other rooms, I search the entire temple but I couldn't figure it out. Then, when all hope is exhausted and I feel like a loser, I jump off the edge. On my way down, I see it, protruded from one of the broken columns, the switch hidden below the edge of the level. Needless to say I was pretty pissed, and annoyed.

So there you have it, my list for the top 5 worst Zelda temples/dungeons. As you can see, they get more annoying based upon the amount of time I spent in them. And yes, I feel really, really lame for having the Sky Temple at 1, but that switch began to lead me down the path to the dark side. Luckily, it ultimately failed, I regained my composure, and in the end kicked Ganondorf's ass. I was both surprised and delighted to see G-dorf back as the ultimate baddie in Twilight, but seriously, how long can Link and his descendants beat this guy before he gives up?

Dream on.

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