Don't get the new Transformers movie confused with Apollo 18, a movie about a final Apollo mission that was supposedly classified for scary reasons until recently (all of which is false by the way), because this plans to be infinitely better than that one. Almost an immediate flashback to the first Transformers teaser where we find a Mars rover coming in contact with the Transformers, this one opens with Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin (who is actually in the movie as himself later on) discovering the alien machines decades before the Mars missions. What's the twist? I don't really know yet. And who was that Transformer by the way? Maybe the hardcore fans out there have more info on this than I do, but to borrow from the classic SATs: If the Mars rover is to Transformers, as the Lunar landing is to Transformers: Dark of the Moon, then we could be in for an exciting summer.
As to the rest of the plot? Well I don't know much. Something about the Autobots being banished or something like that, you know, kind of like the end of The Dark Knight, but not. Apparently a large portion of the finale of the film takes place in Chicago, and there's some big action sequence in DC at some point in the film. A few months ago Bumblebee was hit by a police car during filming, during which the police officer apparently ignored all the signs of the live filming in progress and t-boned the Camaro. Luckily, Michael Bay keeps duplicates for such things. Also, reliable sources over at [IGN] mentioned that from the footage they've seen things are looking good. Bay is looking to redeem himself with this one. He knew himself that Revenge of the Fallen was just an over the top conglomeration of robots fighting and whatnot that seemed more about scale than story. Hopefully, Michael (and Shia) have brought the story back to the basics. And with Megan Fox gone and John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, and Ken Jeong (really?) adding to the cast, this could make a wild adventure, or some weird sort of starpocalypse that only makes the film wish it were The Fallen. I pray its the former.
Admittedly, almost no one has heard of the new Pirates movie beyond whispers of whispers. I'd take a poll about who had heard about it previously but the current poll (to the left of this post), "What Summer movie are you most excited about?" is taking its place. And I'm surprised that Harry Potter is winning at the moment. Does no one care for superheroes or giant robot battles anymore? What has become of us? Maybe I should have added an "Other" category, but I'm getting way off track. On Stranger Tides follows a similar formula as the previous three movies, Jack Sparrow is in some sort of bind or is searching for some legendary thing. This time it's the Fountain of Youth, which seems to play off the fact that he wanted to be immortal in the last movie. For the most part the same crew of dodgy pirates are back including Mr. Gibbs and Barbossa, but out of nowhere comes Black Beard? What the heck? Of course, once again Jerry Bruckheimer has stamped his name on the movie which means tons of money and the possibility of it being good, but hopefully Curse of the Black Pearl good. I mean, it's got mermaids, zombies, and Geoffrey Rush, what else could you want?
Oh, and of course there are rumors of a 5th and 6th Pirates movie, which only means that your kids will be watching this with you, or your kids' kids. And Johnny Depp will probably be in some sort of colonial wheelchair by the time this series ends. But I'll give Disney a shot on this one.
So, what's your opinion? Will Bay bring back the awesomeness that was the original Transformers? And can Disney and Rob Marshall (you know, he's the guy that did Chicago) revive the Pirates series to something more than a misguided adventure to hell and back?
Dream on.
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