The Tanorexic

Words you learn in school: tangent
Words you learn in bars: tanorexic

I'm going to fill you in on a little secret: I don't drink. What I mean is I don't drink alcohol, ever and never. As I realized tonight, my reason for not drinking is that I'm just not curious enough about it to want to try it and I honestly don't know what I'm missing. But that's not the point of this post, it's more about what a sober guy like me comes across when hanging out with other grad students who are drinking. First of all, tonight I played seventh wheel, the absolute definition of the odd man out. Despite coming to the watering hole without a dance partner, I still had a lot of fun. It's interesting actually since I'm an astrophysicist and I mostly deal with observing this is the perfect role for me at a bar, an observer.

Being an observer you notice a lot and a lot in the details of people. For one, there was a woman that was bronzer than my baby booties, hence tanorexic. She was not a natural shade of a human being, and her extremely bleached blonde hair didn't help her either. Another observation was that I clearly need to get a wingman who isn't drunk. Had Skizzle Fresh been at my side, I probably could have gotten the number of a cute girl there, but unfortunately I never got around to talking with her and she escaped. I can only hope that our orbits cross again (that's right, I felt the need to bust out an astronomy term, deal with it), and given the info from the frequenters of the place it's a possibility. That reminds me, I really need to make sure I steer clear of that place on certain nights because some guy told me to watch myself because he had the death sentence on twelve systems states.

So, I guess this may be a new thing, stories from the cantina. This one is merely a warm up, but being the sober guy will probably provide some good stories that I will actually remember, and ones that those I spent the evening with wish they could.

Dream on.

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