The Zed

How many zombie references can I make in one post? Challenge accepted!

Infection. It sounds bad right? Well that's where it all starts. Zomb-I shouldn't say the zed word (see: Shaun of the Dead), the undead, or walkers as they are sometimes called (see: The Walking Dead) always start from some sort of infection. When, where, or how this infection breaks out cannot be predicted. One day the world is green and the sky is blue, and the next you wake up in a hospital alone (see: 28 Days Later) where everything seems just a bit redder. Sometimes the infection comes from an attempt at curing something (see: I am Legend), and others just come out of...well we never really figure it out where it comes from (see: Dawn of the Dead (2004)).

So what do you do? The best idea is to hold up somewhere safe, somewhere familiar, like a mall (see: Dawn of the Dead (1978)). Of course not all malls are safe places since they have lots of people capable of turning (see: Left 4 Dead 2) so you may want to try something else. If you're gung-ho and headstrong, you could try to keep moving, meet up with fellow survivors, and go to a theme park (see: Zombieland). The most important thing is to have a plan, and make sure you have no plans of going into space anytime soon, because that's the last place you want to be trapped (see: Dead Space), or go on an archaeological dig on Mars (see: Doom).

Bitten? If you don't have some Zombrex (see: Dead Rising 2) around you're most certainly screwed. You could do the noble thing and stay behind, locking yourself up to protect your loved ones, put a bullet in your head, or if your loved one just so happens to turn into a zombie, you could just continue on loving (see: Zombie Honeymoon), if that's your thing. I don't advise that.

And here are a few bullet points you should be aware of, just in case the point hasn't gotten across yet:

• Don't go anywhere near Raccoon City (see: Resident Evil)
• Travel in diverse groups, for example a biker, veteran, student, and account manager (see: Left 4 Dead)
• Keep a camera with you to document your saga (see: Dead Rising)
• Don't attempt to film your own horror movie (see: Diary of the Dead)
• Keep your band handy because besides musical instruments making excellent weapons, they can also be used to defeat the reanimated (see: Rock of the Dead)
• Boomsticks (a.k.a. shotguns) and chainsaws are the living dead's kryptonite (see: Evil Dead II)
• I reiterate, shotguns. Lots of shotguns. Really, any gun will do, but most definitely shotguns (see: any zombie move/video game/book)

By the way, if for some reason you find yourself in the early 1800s (and also have access to a computer and internet connection that reaches into the future), you should be aware of the dangers that the dead present. Send your daughters off to China to learn the ways of combat and surround yourself with armies of ninjas (see: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) because it's going to be a wild turn of the century.

So I think that was 19. I could probably do better if I had more exposure to zombies, but I'm fine keeping them at a distance. Oh, and 19 doesn't even scratch the surface of what the folks over at [FreakingAweso.me] have done. They compiled a list of 978 zombie references in the form of a dead hand. Yes, 978. Check it out.

Interestingly enough, it seems that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, you may want to take the advice of a real live doctor to help you figure out what to do. Dr. Stephen Schlozman, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School has determined the link between zombies and fear: pattern recognition. The behavior of the undead isn't something that we can immediately recognize in our brains according to Schlozman, and when the brain cannot come up with an accurate or reasonable solution to why there are a dozen people staggering towards you covered in blood, slowly losing limbs, moaning, and clearly having a taste for flesh it resorts to fear. [Kotaku]

Moral of the story, have a zombie plan ready and watch as many zombie films as possible. This will get your brain prepared and have it recognizing the patterns of zombies that could attack, from slow and steady to running/climbing/spitting types (see: Resident Evil: Extinction). You'll regret it if you don't. Just ask Leon about Las Plagas (see: Resident Evil 4). 21.

Of course, there's always the chance that zombies in real life don't exhibit the same behavior we see in movies, television, or video games. If that's the case, to put it bluntly, we could very well be fucked.

Nut up or shut up.

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