The Game (1)

Gamers might think that the white whale of the gamer world isn't the perfect game, but rather the perfect person to play that game with. Male (and certain female) gamer geeks are always looking for playmates, whether they are in magazines or in real life, but to score meet one and engage one in conversation, or if you're lucky enough a relationship is a different story. That's where we turn to someone with more expertise than myself, that would be Skizzle Fresh. I've mentioned him before in reference to [The Hypothesis] and I'd like to state that he's a bit of a con-man. Not in the dirty criminal kind of way, but a litteral confidence man. I mean he's full of confidence and he rightfully should be. Read on for the guest post written by Mr. Fresh and hear what he has to say about playing The Game for a gamer girl.

In the gamer vein in which I approach this contribution, I'd like to quote one of the instructors in social dynamics whose energy and passion I value highly.

"The AMAZING GOLDEN TREASURE OF GLORY IS *YOU*.  You are the hero in this story.  And what a damn fine story this is."

There's also another quote that illustrates the problem of the attractive gamer girl, as told by the great minds behind The 40 Year Old Virgin: "You know what your problem is?  You're putting the p**** on a pedestal."

The attractive gamer girl is just a girl, and the set-up for love is no different than with most other women.  

There's a social psychological phenomenon that states that you will think people in your in-group -- that is, people that you associate with on some commonality-- will seem more diverse and individuated than those in an out-group, with which you lump in one large box of stereotypes and assumptions.  The very concept of the attractive gamer girl is an out-group assertion.  Being attractive does not define her life, nor does gaming.  We all have a bunch of things that have helped us develop the personalities we have, and we'd all be pretty pissed if we continually got told "Oh, you're the hot gamer girl" every time we interacted with someone.  So, I've laid out my tips on getting the "attractive, gamer girl."

Have a healthy love for all women

If you're pining over one type of woman, or one woman in particular, that makes you undesirable to all women.  You get hemmed in, being too selective, only talking to the same folks over and over, and you don't gain any new insights.  Appreciating the company of many types of women-- for friendship or more-- makes you a more well-rounded individual, you can vibe with all types of people, and you develop an appreciation for a much larger set of personalities and interests.

Treat her like a person

If you're sweating bullets over your prospects, you've already lost.  Be calm, cool, collected, and don't even over-analyze the situation.  My thing when I'm out is that I approach a girl I'm interested in as fast as possible.  I'm genuinely interested in her, and I'm not getting any closer to her personality and knowing about her if I'm eyeing her from across a room, gawking, thinking of my pick-up line, or sipping on my drink.  She's a person, it's a conversation (with some playful touching sooner rather than later), and we're enjoying each other's company. [And yes, for her to enjoy your company, you need to be conveying value! No interviews, people...]

Realize that there's more to the hot gamer than being a hot gamer

That conversational thread will exhaust quickly.  Sure, you can spend hours talking about the nuances of each Final Fantasy game, but as an actual "category" of conversation that will tire quickly.  You seem one-dimensional, she seems like she can't share any more of her personality, and everyone is a loser in that scenario.

Don't take it personally

As the attractive gamer girl, and really just as a woman, she gets approached and hit on a lot.  This means she has options.  You many not be the best fit for her, regardless of how well you think your interaction went.  This goes back to Point 1: when you can live in the same abundance of options and interactions as her, you'll understand and know you don't have to settle.  Learn from it what you can do better next time AFTER the interaction is over (because a guy who's thinking about what just happened versus what's next isn't going to get her thinking and excited about what's to come), and then get back in the game.

The attractive gamer girl is a type of girl, but in the end she's still just a girl.  Play it smooth, be confident, add value, and you'll have her falling for you faster than the Empire.

Play The Game right and be confident and the rest will follow, just like an annoying Gungan you might have had the unfortunate fortune to save.

Dream on.

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